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Thursday, August 31, 2006
It is the time. I have endured enough. 3 long years of fake and never-meant-to-be friendship. The hypocrisy he showed me, the fakery, the absolutely haughtiness and pride over me, the superiority expressed in almost perverse fashion. I endured them foolishly for the past years and now, the time has come for me to completely, and for once, fully, as you put it yourself, sever ties with you.
Now, I do not need you anymore, as all the while you have been using me, not even attempting to consider my feelings, stabbing me in the back, while I stupidly played around into your trickery as you jealously wanted to draw all my friendship to you alone, for you have no one else.
If you are reading this, I wanna say, Good. Now shut the fuck up and get out of my life cos from 1st September onwards you are no longer a part of my life. Even if you try to backstab me and scheme your way to avenge yourself, I will take it as if it were a stranger. I hate you. I really do :)
OK, BB is over, our DMP modules are over, I don't need you in school, I don't even fellowship with you anymore, and it's time. In 3 hours time you will be forgotten.
OK, so my checklist:
1) Delete number from handphone (CHECK)
2) Block & Delete from MSN (CHECK)
3) Delete Email
4) Quit maplestory guild (or better still expel me :) saves my effort of logging in)
5) Delete from buddy list on maplestory
6) Any other memory of you.
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 5:34 AM
Ok, so here's the day's 2nd post, about my second outing with friends in 2 days, which of course means that the 2nd outing was... TODAY!
Ok, so we all went to school as usual cos it was teacher's day celebrations, and like, "celebrations" is such a hyperbole. I wouldn't really call 2 day work by the prefects to organize some piece of shit as celebrations really celebrations. Like, everything was so slapdash, but at least the singing bit was comical!
Anyways, afterwards Jonathan left to go back to his primary for typical Teacher's Day visitations, while Ben, Calvin, Ian and I opted to go eat breakfast together at McDonald's before heading out for a movie. We took a MRT to City Hall where we traversed The CitiLink to Suntec City and Finally To Marina Square, where our cinema awaited us, and it was also there that Calvin left us as he had something on in school. So now there were 3.
We waltzed over to the cinema and decided upon The Devil Wears Prada, but since it only started at 2 pm, we had 2 hours to burn before the show started, and since we couldn't enter the arcade because of our school uniform, we settled upon bowling.
Our scores (1st game):
1st: Benjamin --> 78
2nd: Ian --> 71
3rd: Me --> 48 :(
Our scores (2nd game):
1st: Ian --> 81
2nd: Benjamin --> 79
3rd: Me --> 45 :(
I just suck at bowling la.
So anyway we walked around a bit more before buying atrociously priced nachos and entered the cineplex. Inside, we watched as an Indian woman lost her seat in the cinema, who had also earlier abandoned her mother and children at the cinema entrance. Like, lol. Was this her first time at a cinema?
Anyway the show lasted for aprox. 2 hours and we came out at around 4:15 pm, and Benjamin went to meet his mom at Raffles Place while Ian and I took the MRT back home to Pasir Ris. We separated there, as he went to take bus 88 while I went to take bus 3.
P.S. Ian saw his ex primary school classmate at the bus 88 queue, like, lol! We were avoiding our primary school history when we just so coincidentally met someone. Must be twisted fate.
So anyway I reached home around 5:30 and that too ends another memorable experience with close, genuine friends, something that I can take pleasure in that some people that I know of and wish to forget can never ever experience in their lives. :)
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 4:39 AM
Woah! These past 2 days have been filled with so much that's going on, that I'm gonna post 3 separate stuff about it. The first, which is this, is about my outing at a friend's house.
30th August. Ian's house. 10 am. Xbox, games and excursion to Pasir Ris Park. The date, place, time and agenda. Invited: Jonathan, myself, Benjamin and Calvin
Well, I myself staying barely 3 minutes drive away from Ian's house... arrived later than Benjamin & Jonathan who lived in Bukit Timah and Ang Mo Kio respectively by 5 minutes, like cool! I overslept and fell asleep during breakfast! 10 am is too early man, before my Saturdays were taken up I usually woke up at around 3 pm, when I slept at 10 pm the night before. Hmmm... 17 hour sleep. That's cool.
Anyway, as usual Jonathan, being a maplestory addict, was already playing maplestory by the time I reached there, and he was attempting to kill himself in the Cerebes map as he had only 0.12%. As Benjamin and Ian watched, I too trained my own character a bit before we went upstairs to the attic to play Halo. I teamed upwith Ian, while Ben and Jon took the other side. Jon is like, freaking lousy at Halo. I like, killed him 15 times, while Ian maybe almost twice my score... -.-"
Even when I was right in front of his face, he couldn't even aim properly, and all I had to do was calmly walk straight up to him and melee him til he died. Cool!
Anyways, after that we did some racing where I came in last again, before we went back down to Ian's room to play more maple, and I tried to level and complete Alpha Platoon's quest. Soon after we got sick of it again and Benjamin and I went back up to the attic to play a new fighting-styled game called Dead Or Alive, while Ian and Jon stayed in the former's bedroom playing games.
Anyway, Dead or Alive turned out to be some kind of bitch-slut-whore fight, with Ben and I purposely choosing female characters dressed in a plethora of ridiculous outfits, ranging from cheongsams that wouldn't rip no matter how many 180 degree kicks she made, a black bikini showing off her bouncing assessts, almost guiltily, to a small girl wrapped around a giant red ribbon. It was like, so cool! The entire game, Ben and I were slapping, punching, tossing, kicking, slam-dunking and skidding under each other as the two girls screamed, shrieked, pulled the enemy's hair and what nots to be the winner!
The game was so slutty that I enjoyed it so much and laughed till my diaphragm hurt.
Anyways, while we were still bitch slapping each other virtually, Ian and Jon came up and we decided to order pizza in. While we continued playing, Calvin arrived and stayed with Jon and Ian in the room. Soon the pizza came with our Super Supreme, Chicken Supreme, 2 Garlic Breads and Pepsi, all free cos Ian's grandma refused to accept our money to pay her back. You go granny!
After that we had some dessert in the form of Durian and Chocolate cake that my mom bought as a gift for us as a tea break. After our meal, because it seemed as though it would rain anytime soon, we proceeded back to Ian's room instead of going to Pasir Ris Park, as originally planned.
There, we watched Disney's High School Reunion, and I just don't understand these cheesy childish and cliche feel-good family pics. Like, eew! Why can't we watch Saw or something?
So, as the 4 glued their eyes to the screen, I played maplestory again and proceeded with the quest. After which, when the stupid musical show ended Ben and I went up to the attic to play Dead Or Alive again, while Ian and Jon stayed behind to watch RV with Calvin. The same hilarity ensued as we power-kicked our way to electrocutions and incinerations. Soon Calvin, Jonathan and Ian joined us and we went into a 4 player mode battle. It was so crazy!
As we played on, the rain eventually stopped and we decided to go to Pasir Ris park to rent bikes and cycle. Sean, Ian's brother, tagged along too on his own bike. Alas! The bike shop was closed and in the end, partly because Ian's heel broke off, we just bought some ice cream and headed on back, after Calvin took some rides on Sean's bike.
Back at home, greeted once again by Ian's blonde bitch (literally), we proceeded to Ian's room where Ben and Jon decided to burn RV into a CD while I ONCE AGAIN tried to complete my quest on maplestory. Soon, we all (excluding Ben who was still burning the CD) went to the attic to play Dead Or Alive. It was pure mayhem as we soon all found our niche characters.
Jonathan: power-kicker Kazumi with the killer dagger and sneaky karate chops
Ian: Ayanna the ribbon-tied elf-like ninja with the killer 4-kick-slap-punch combo
Calvin: Heavyweight European chick Helena with the all so signature "he-he-he" triple kick
Myself: Tina the sexy bikini clad blonde bombshell with the cataclysmic pick-up and slam-dunk trick
Benjamin (who joined us later): Leon the super super super super fat cowboy who KO-s peeple by ramming them with his fat thighs
We all laughed our way to 6pm where Jonathan and Benjamin had to go. Just as they were leaving Ian's mom came back with cake and invited all of us to it, of which we did, before she fetched Jon, Ben and Calvin to the MRT station as it was raining.
Ian stayed behind with me until my mom came. In the mean time Sean helped we complete the Alpha Platoon quest. Yay! I got a scroll!!
After 10 minutes my mom came and Ian escorted me umbrella in hand, as we waved goodbye to another plesant outing with amity.
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 4:01 AM
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Wenjun, this goes out to you. I apologize for being so tactless in my previous 2 posts, regarding grad dinner and all that. I was too carried away by someone else that I'd really hated and detested then, and I foolishly dragged you into the same mire as I did to him, which is obviously not the case. You are WAAAAAAAAAY better than him, and if you need any more confirmation, I don't know, but I'd just like to say that it's all the clockwork of a "someone", and that I still treasure you as a pal. =)
Forgive me!
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 7:52 AM
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Wow. I can still vividly recall the anticipation that I had before DMP started, the freedom of the lessons we chose to take, the abundance of free periods, as well as the lessened amount of homework and the liberation to wake up later and go home earlier, not to mention less stress.
Well, thanks to a very crazed teacher of mine who suddenly revealed to us that she had a soft spots for tying strings into beautiful bundles of absolutely no use whatsoever, oh sorry, knots.
Well, it's been a breeze, literally, you enjoy it when it blows by you, you really want it to last longer, but it can't and you know it can't, and soon it blows by and you are left standing in the heat, wondering where it went and still standing... in the heat...
I just can't seem to let go too well. Everything that I know of is coming apart. With the closure of my Biology, Geography, Social Studies & Chemistry CA marks, I can only look back in horror at the former subject and wonder how I could have dropped a grade in it - my forte!
There's nothing to fight for now, my CCA is over, and I feel very at ease with myself; I'm happy to have been in such a warm and friendly CCA environment for the past 4 years, and the best of parts of my life happened to be in it... One of which was the recruits saga... Hehe...
Anyway, my Physics CA, with the completion of the magship PT, it's over too. Chinese is ever-going, so it doesn't really matter, same for English, which I should get a 4.0 easily. I'm worried about maths. I really want to score well at the end of this year. I dont wanna screw my life and get jilted to a bad science class... Then i'm condemned... Stupid la, why did I ever drop Literature for Geography? At least in Lit, I'm quite certain of a 4.0...
Sigh. I'm quite aimless now. My studies have stagnated, I can't really excel anymore, I've reached my peak. CCA is over, there's no more thrill in afterschool activities, and there's no drive. I guess I'm some kinda guy that just needs work to get by. Man, this is my life.
DMP is over, so is my drive to succeed. I'm just dragging on as I prepare for Term 4 work and O level Chinese... Dang! This is sad... :(
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 7:17 AM
Friday, August 25, 2006
Went home after DMP today as usual, where I had to smile at Janson for 2 whole hours straight just so I do not jeopardize my SS DMP module project...
Anyways I invited my friends over to my house since they were in the vicinity after skipping school today, namely Cai Qiang & Privin.
Yes, I've reconciled with that black whore, and in case you haven't realized yet I've patched up with him. I really don't understand the metacognitions of life. First I should say Privin and I weren't very close when we were separated from primary 6 to sec 3. Then we were plunged together for OBS, then Raffles' Next Top Bitch, then the Greenwave separation and finally now. Wierd.
Ok anyways CQ taught us how to play dota, and apparently Privin is even more noob than me. hehe. But anyways I suppose like any other game, I'll probably lose interest in it as well after some time.
And just for updates, this DMP module weeks, unlike so many, has been a total nightmare for me. Firstly the first 2 weeks were taken up by chem pt and RE and other chinese HW. Now the next 2 weeks are taken up by even MORE chinese hw. God help me! Procrastination knows me by name! ARGH!
Oh and our grad dinner table now has 9 people. It's like, woah! How did all these turn out? At first we were happily arranging a table of myself, Jonathan, Ian, Benjamin, Calvin, Zenn, Mingshu & Wenjun and just needed 2 people to fill the table, but of course, true colors soon showed and we had a faceoff between the 2B table.
Woah! It was hell cool! From the voodoo curses myself and mark rained down on the table to the background manipulation of other tables to add pressure on the 2B table to see it end and break up the allies, that was so gratifying and fun! I dunno why but I seriously get thrilled by these sort of things.
Anyway, so the wretched 2B table, organized by Wenjun and powered by the oldy discovered "Student-Leader-Under-Training" were determined to see their table through and break down OUR table, and using their tactics to seduce zenn and mingshu over, so our table now was left with 5 people. I should say though that I'm extremely happy with this group of 5 that have not betrayed each other and moved to other tables even when the states of our table looked so dire, as in, seriously, there was even a night I was hyperventilating over it. Man, I needa cool down and just curse voodoos!
Anyways, it all worked out for the best and we were able to see who were true friends that stood beside each other. Especially Benjamin who could have EASILY, really EASILY swayed to the 4G table but he didn't, and Ian & Jonathan who could have resigned themselves to the 4H table, and Calvin whom I didn't even contact for weeks but still dutifully remained by our side to this present day! Good friends, this is what makes me say life in RI is worthwhile.
So the next step we did was to rope in my close ally Privin, and Privin's ally Mark, to make 7.
So we were left at 7 for a few weeks more, in the meantime attempting to get other allies to our table, all which failed because we seemed to be a tad too slow all the time. Alas! Just the last week to gather people, Joshua Heng & Benjamin Ong both came KNOCKING on our doors asking for seats, and we embraced them with open arms because they were both from BB AND LIBRARY AND The BB BAND, which they had many connections with in our table, so no one would be left out.
So there we have it, 9 people, still waiting for the last one.
Waiting, waiting, always waiting...
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 4:01 AM
Friday, August 18, 2006
yay! i got a tagboard! ppl go post pls for fun! thanks!
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 7:13 AM
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
woohoo! I finally gave my blog a new face lift!
Looks so much better and sophisticated now.
Please forgive some strange parts in the blog now as I'm not done in the settings. Will do it as soon as I straighten my life out.
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 5:56 AM
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Let me start in an almost cliche manner. Today, my friends and I, namely Ian, Jonathan & Calvin decided to have a fun filled day together, and thus agreed upon that the day after National Day would be an opportune getaway from the hustle and bustle of everyday's monotonous thing that is life.
Anyway, we had planned for this for some time already, and had agreed on 8am at Ian's house as the genesis of our escapade. Well, apparently because of our innate natures and such, the host himself woke up at 8:20 am and rushed to be prepared for the advent of the guests. Well, I myself cannot really say much because I woke up at 8am and was eating breakfast en route in the car and scrapped in at around 8:30am. Jonathan was worse - he came at 9am,and Calvin, hmmm, he was so late we didn't even take note of the time. (No offence Calvin, we still love you :)
Anyways, the maple addict Jonathan kept bugging us to play Maplestory at Ian's study cum bedroom, but as we all know, that is quite spastic - the notion of going to someone's house to play an online game that we'll probably lose interest in and one that be played at your own home... Anyways we escaped his temptations (and he led me to stuuuuuupid Omega Sector, wasted countless scrolls to get to and from Orbis) and decided to play Xbox instead, more specifically, Halo, in Ian's attic.
At 12 noon, the 4 of us packed up and headed to... Escape Theme Park! Well, Jonathan and I caught a lucky zephyr that blew our way when 2 girls sold us their NTUC-packaged tickets for $10, while Ian and Calvin had to buy theirs for $16.50 (oh this reminds me, Calvin you owe me $5.50). The first ride we took was some stupid flying teacup ride that made me sick from all the needless screaming, especially when the 2 young boys beside us kept staring at me screaming. Come on! I know it takes great courage for a full 16 year old guy to scream ok, so give the old guy some credit, man!
Anyways, I shall not bore you with boring recounts, but I shall pick out the interesting snippets, firstly the Burger King there is fucking exorbitant! $4.50 for a burger? I saw a lady ordering a full set meal ("set" is used liberally as every component of the meal cost money) for herslef and her child and the bill came up to $37.80, after which she went to the nearby Orange Julius to buy a drink...
The log flume was cool... The inverter seriously fucking SUCKS! The g force was so inconsistent I fell sick immediately. The family coaster was exhilarating! I actually lifted up my hands and yelped as the coaster came zooming down the 1m high rails! WOW!
And did i forget to mention, Jonathan was so petrified of the the Haunted house that he literally clung onto me for dear life as we made our way through the house on foot. I mean, his shrieking, dragging of feet and his nails that still leaves scratch marks on my shoulder was WAYYYY more freaky than those stupid plastic manequins (oh sorry, "ghosts")
And i took the viking ship twice, for the first 2 times in my life. yay.
So that concludes a most memorably boring day at escape which i tell myself is fun so that i will treasure for the many years to come before Christ's second coming and separates the sheep from the goats. We went back to Ian's house where we played racing and Cluedo (of which Ian and Jonathan can testify to my superior clandestine slueth, and that wonderful 5 minute game which i trashed both of them :)
Jonathan left at around 5:30 pm and I left too at 6:40 pm. Calvin stayed on. And have i mentioned how cute that squeeky dinosaur was? Squeek...
I shall end abruptly like this.
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 6:08 AM
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Hey reality dudes and dudettes (is that how you spell it?!), the award winning Amazing Race is coming back for a tenth season, and I really think that there's really something wrong about the selection of cast, I mean, it's seriously seriously erm, diverse?
The introductory goes something like this:
[Team name with gender & age]
[something "special" about them]
--> Reminds me of [previous team]
Introducing:
1) Tom (40,M) & Terry (45,M)
Special Mention (SM): A pair of dating gays in their 40s. How sweet :)
--> Reminds me of: practically any previous gay couple on TAR, i.e. TAR1's Joe & Bill (Team Guido), TAR4's Reichen & Chip, TAR7's Lynn & Alex etc.
2) Tyler (29,M) & James (27,M)
SM: A pair of good looking brothers that have *gasp* gone through years of drug rehab *gasp*
--> Reminds me of: another bad frat boys team, yes, that's right: TAR9's Eric & Jeremy
3) Vipul (29,M) & Arti (26,F)
SM: The first ever pair of Indian-Americans to be on TAR. Way to go!!!
--> Reminds me of: Hmm... were there any previous indian-american teams...?
4) Kellie (22,F) & Jamie (22,F)
SM: Typical young, blonde, plastic, country girls with a southern drawl. Cheerleaders too.
--> Reminds me of: The past young, blonde, plastic all-girl teams. TAR4's Tian & Jaree, TAR5's Kami & Karli, TAR6's Lena & Kristy & TAR7's Megan & Heidi
5) Lyn (32,F) & Karlyn (32,F)
SM: What can I say? A pair of black Alabama mothers (rather erm, abundant in certain places) who have known each otehr since 9th grade. awwww...
--> Reminds me of: TAR4's Monica & Sheree
6) David (32,M) & Mary (31,F)
SM: A six-pac abs guy with a fat wife? Now that's what I call a diverse cast...
--> Reminds me of: Another lovable couple with a fat wife. TAR4's Debra & Steve
7) Bilal (37,M) & Sa'eed (39,M)
SM: The first ever Muslim-American team to be on TAR. COOL!!!!
--> Reminds me of: As I've said, the FIRST Muslim team to race the race...
8) Rob (31,M) & Kimberly (28,F)
SM: What's another six-pac abs guy doing with some spastic lady with a spastic smile on her face?
--> Reminds me of: Er, no clear physical connection, but TAR4's Millie & Chuck, possibly because the girl is as spastic as Millie... :)
9) Duke (52,M) & Lauren (26,F)
SM: What's the oldest guy in the race doing with a daughter whom they have just severed ties with and are on the race so that they can spend some last time before she leaves him? OMG... Oh btw, Lauren is also the first open lesbian to have been on TAR. Now I wonder why thier realationship was so rocky...
--> Reminds me of: Other dad & non-lesbian daughter teams. TAR5's Jim & Marsha, TAR6's Gus & Hera
10) Dustin (24,F) & Kandace (24, F)
SM: A pair of fragile looking Miss America contestants. Hmmm... There's defintely something wrong when these former pageant queens say that they're afraid of grass and water, respectively... hmm...
--> Reminds me of: Other past pageant queens, TAR5's Erika, Nicole & Christie & TAR7's Kelly
11) Erwin (32,M) & Godwin (29,M)
SM: The first pair of Chinese-American brothers to be on TAR
--> Reminds me of: The ONLY other Chinese-American contestant on the race. TAR3's Kathy
12) Peter (35,M) & Sarah (31,F)
SM: An amputee with her boyfriend who is twice her height? Man, they really say correct when they say love crosses all boundaries
--> Reminds me of: TAR5's unforgettable Charla (and her cousin Mirna who was incidentally, twice Charla's height as well :)), who is the best racer of all time...
Well, ok that's it folks, the roundup of the 12 teams who will be in the running for 1 million dollars come september!
Cya all then!
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 3:56 AM
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
My heart weeps but I can’t cry. The bench ever so loyally watching over the playground proves to be the only entity that watches over me as well. A tear struggles to get out but it cannot. It shall not. The stoic erect tree branches out soothingly and placidly, adding an almost surreal feel to the place, such a stark irony to the angst convoluted with melancholy I feel inside. The four concrete HDB blocks seem to stand tall and shower me from the hurt, but too confines me in the wallows of my pitiable self. The 9 o’clock sun caresses the cement walls as it bounces its way to me, although my face can’t bask in its glorious resplendence. It just seems to naughtily bend away from my bench and I. Children laughing might signal I have to stop crying and leave their place soon, but for this one special moment, it is mine. Leaves fall down and the sun finally meets my tear stained eyes. The warmth I feel all but dissipates again when I graze the hurt in my heart. That one single penetrative sentence, the catalyst of the repulsion, am I truly the cause of it all? Even if it were, I choose to reject it, for as those two sing praises to God, I am stuck here, sun in my face, leaves a falling, with the wooden bench as my friend… As I take my leave, fear not old friend, for as humanly realms have forsaken me, my friend, my pal, I am not one of them. As I’ll never forget the hurt, neither will I forget you. It is getting warmer now; I have to go. Which block should I go to? I choose the east, since that’s where you’re closest, bench. Ok. Here goes… Whee… The air brushes against me. I meet you down there in our hard embrace. I suddenly wish to back out, to just swallow my angst and just say I’m sorry, after all I still have to become a world-renowned doctor, and of course wood is hard. Bench, you tricked me, but I’ll never have the chance to sit on you again, let alone kick or destroy you, or see the sun rays, sashay in the falling leaves, sing those irritably harmonious church tunes, and say, “I’m sorry”. All that my worthless self is left now is a very painful crack of bones and other things that I wish not to recount, and a yelp of pain intertwined with a “sorry”, as the church tunes end and the pastor says his message, “Forgive one another, just as Christ forgave you…”
+ Josh sings to the unforgiving sea + 6:01 AM
